The OGs In African American Female Group Travel Experiences
Encouraging black women since 2006

A bitch in rome

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If you have been following my page for the last few
months you may know that I have met someone
truly special.

He is Italian and a V.P. at a major multinational
company with a division in Rome. We are always
together except for when he is working or with his son.
He is very social and includes me in all events with his
friends, which have been amazing. About three weeks
ago, I attended a group dinner with his friends, most I
had meet before. Because Italian friendships are very
close and most start at childhood, I extra nice when
meeting his friends for the first time because it is
important to him that they like me. It is an Italian thing!

There were 4 women at the table, I had not met before.
All spoke good English and were nice to me “in front of him.”
I found myself thinking what a nice group. Because I
do not speak much Italian, I am not offended when
people start talking in there native tongue. I did note
whenever my guy would say something in English,
to include me in the conversations, there were two women
that would always reply in Italy. No big deal for me. If I
can be lazy about speaking Italian, I can get upset others
feeling same about speaking English. Plus, I am very good
at entertaining myself people watching around the room.


Later in the evening, I have to go the bathroom and
and excused myself. While walking back to the table,
walking towards me are two of the women from the
table that were “refusing” to speak English. Thinking
that I had made two new friends, I give both a big
smile in acknowledgement. Both walked past me as
if I was a ghost. I thought oh “The Italian bitch routine”.
I have seen it many time when alone.

Italian women can be quite nasty, competitive and condescending.
They always seem to give me the once over, looking at from head
to toe in some type of disappointment mean to make one feel
insecure. I have have learn to give it back to them only with
slower stares, a confused look and a big laugh at the end.
Sometimes, I will even wave, which always freaks them out. lol
These two got a pass due to being “friends” of my guy.

Luckily I did mention the incident to him later that night.
He want to know which two women, but I decided to hold
that card until a later date.

Fast forward to this past weekend.

We (I love saying that) were invited to a birthday party
of one of his friends that I truly like. While we were
parking the motorcycle, one of his girlfriends walked
up, I quickly noticed it was one of the two from the
restaurant. Once again, she acted like she liked me,
even calling me by name and giving cheek kisses. I was
looking behind her back for the knife that was sure to
be in my back by the end of the evening.

Later that evening, while dancing with my guy this
bitch walks right in the middle of us, turns her back to
me and starts dancing with him. It took everything in
me no to grab her by all the bleached blond hair.
I must mention that calmed myself down and took
a mental step back because I did not know if them
dancing together was normal “friends” behavior.
It would not be unusual for Italy. Often due to all
the random affection between friends, I have a hard
time figuring out who is dating who.

I also want to see what he would do! So, I decided
to let it play out for a while. He continued to to dance
with her but did step back. Turn to the side and
watched for about a good minute before walking
between the two of them, pressed my breast again
his chest and started kissing him in the mouth.
Him and I got lost grazing into each others eyes and
I have no clue when she walked away. Game over!

Later I calmly asked him had the two of the ever dated.
He said no and asked why. I told him that I thought
was going on and that it was very rude that she stepped
between the two of us while dancing. He replied that he
also thought it was strange and it was something she had
never done before. Now, I know for sure it is not
about him but her competing with me. She has not
clue who she is messing with and taking my kindness
for some type of weakness.

The interesting thing is on some level, I understand her.
As an African-American women, that had to sit back
watch many of the best of the best Black men chose others
“others” over their own, I can identify with frustration
and may even hatred towards my guy being with me.
I honestly always try to show some empathy when with
him around Italian women. I never do like some
non-Black women in American when with Black men.
You know the chicks, give that “I got him” look.

I take all of this into consideration and
explained to him the game that she was playing
and that he had allowed her to disrespect me. He
became very upset and said she was playing a very
dangerous game. Then, I hit him with the news that
she was one of the two women that had been rude to me
at the restaurant (timing is everything). He got up to go
talk to her but I stopped him by saying that is what she
wanted, his attention away from me. If he had approached
her, she will have got to play the poor misunderstood
victim hurt in front of all her friends by the “foreigner”
that does not understand Italian culture. She know
that the cultural differences is normally a big concern
with Italian men. They need to know that you can “fit
in”. Had the game played out the way she wanted he
would have be forced to comfort her to remain the
“good guy” in the eyes of the friend circle. Ah, NO!

I told him to wait, for sure she will try something
else in the future. The next time he has to be clear
that he has zero interest in her. Once she is formally
rejected by him, I expect her to stir-up some mess.
I also told him that she got a 2nd pass and without doubt
she will try me again. Next time, I will not be so nice.


The glove are off!

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